You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
farters have to be the big spoon...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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