The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
