im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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