she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
