Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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