eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
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Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize