You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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