I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
