Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
