Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
