Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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