we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
