question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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