I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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