just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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