its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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