So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize