well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
