Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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