Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
there is glitter all over my balls
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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