like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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