it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
