If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
