Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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