What did we do last night that was yellow?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize