i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
