Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
