New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize