I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
