woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize