So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
