you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
