Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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