He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
