Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
