I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize