I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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