my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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