big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm both gender and math confused
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize