lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I want is dick and wine.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
