You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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