you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
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Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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