I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize