never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
