Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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