Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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