there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
