I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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