I'm eating all of the evidence.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
