we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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