We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
