You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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