Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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