I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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