Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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